“The intermediate stage between socialism and capitalism is alcoholism.”

Tuesday, December 28, 2004

Hanukkah Hangover...and I'm not even Jewish!

It must have been six months
since I’ve suffered this way…
This isn’t the image
I’d like to portray

The ‘all too familiar’…
vein-ridden eyes
are my souvenir
for my sobriety’s demise

My brain should be crowded

with quick witted thoughts,
but a hazed , cloudy mind
is all that I brought

My wallet is empty

but I chose not to fret…
that bottle of SoCo
looked like my best bet.

Jamie and Chad had a couple of drinks
But it was me who sure polished the most
After that, what I drank, I shudder to think,
But again I raised my glass to toast:

“Here’s to the night’s I forget all my worries
And have a few drinks with my friends….

I sure can’t afford to go out to the bar,
But tonight, what the hell, I’ll pretend”

Random Link o' the Day: http://40oz-warriors.com/

Monday, December 20, 2004

Whatchoo' talking bout Willis?

Today I came in forty-five minutes late...
and now it's ten-thirty, I still can't see straight.
I look in the mirror, and quietly say,
"my eyes are so red, I could guide Santa's sleigh"

Thank god my two bosses are off on vacation,
or I'd have to start looking for a new occupation.
They'd take one good look at me
they'd cringe and they'd gasp,
at the strong stench of liquor, and unbearable gas.

I have so much work to do,
no motivation,
One more night like this,
and I'll be in 'in-patient'

Link 'o the Day: http://bfcgroup.com/helluvatough/smoothtest.html

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Honda's "Asimo" jogs...hell, I can hardly stand up!

I read that Honda's robot "Asimo" has learned how to jog...yeah, let's see him try to do it while drunk!!! Anyway, here's today's rhetoric for the lonely:

The hangover fairy came to visit again,
but no loot he left under my pillow
Instead he left agony throbbing within
like a twitching roadkill armadillo

I feel like someone took swings at my head
with an oversized Louisville Slugger
Or perhaps I was pistol-whipped 300 times
by an army of disgruntled muggers

I have to make this one a little bit short
cuz' I need to go get me some aspirin
I wish I could ask my boss to go home
but I don't really feel up to askin'

Random Link o' the Day: http://www.tenaciousd.com/

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

Space Monkeys now control the launch sequence...

With all of that drinking
I'm approaching sedation.
That must be the reason
for this dehydration.

A gallon of Clear-Eyes
ain't solving a thing
If my eyes were more slanted,
I'd be from Beijing

I probably shouldn't
get up from my desk
perhaps I'll just sit here
and get me some rest

If anything "management"
gets one look at me...
Well shit.....
I'd probably hear "hand me your keys...."

That's right, because usually
I may look hungover....
Today, I don't think I'd convince 'em I'm sober.

Sunday, December 05, 2004

Words from the wise...

"Fuck around, fuck around, you won't be around!"


Thursday, December 02, 2004

McBoozo the Clown merchandise

For McBoozo the Clown merchandise check out: http://www.cafepress.com/mcboozo

Thursday again...

It's Thursday again
and here I sit hurtin',
My eyelids are heavy
could you please close the curtains!

Played up some darts
on yesterday evening
had a few beers
and a burger with seasoning

The drunker we played
the later I got
I threw pretty well
but our opponent's were hot

The sub they brought in
threw a big 'ol ton-eighty
Like a pirate at sea
they'd robbed us 'matey!

Now my head's a bit sore
and last night was cold
my furnace quit runnin'
and it's only 5 years old

My taxes are due soon
the time, it is near
The IRS sent me a letter
saying "you f----d up last year"

I'm leaving for Vegas
in close to 3 weeks
but first I'll bend over
drop trou' & bare cheek

Is it time for lunch yet?
damn, it's not Friday either
Just another Thursday
it's time for a breather!