You'll need it to replace three people who just left.
"PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST:"
You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.
"REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS:"
You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.
"GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS:"
Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do.
"I'M EXTREMELY ADEPT AT ALL MANNER OF OFFICE ORGANIZATION: "
I've used Microsoft Office.
"I TAKE PRIDE IN MY WORK:"
I blame others for my mistakes.
"I AM ADAPTABLE:"
I've changed jobs a lot.
"I'M HIGHLY MOTIVATED TO SUCCEED:"
The minute I find a better job, I'm outta there.
"I LOOK FORWARD TO HEARING FROM YOU SOON:"
Like, I'm gonna hold my breath waiting for your form letter thanking me "for my interest and wishing me luck in my future career.